Monday, May 3, 2010

My Name is Sum Tim Wong

Now first things first! I have just about had enough of people laughing at my name. I mean, I am not just talking about those childish classmates of mine. Today, even our principal Mr Sivalingam guffawed aloud like a hyena (although I have never heard a hyena guffaw but our form teacher Miss Sng seems to love this phrase and basically forces us to memorize it for our compo) when he heard my name being called through the PA system.

Now I have my mother to thank for promoting me to some legendary nerd status in school. She refused to let me bring a handphone to school simply because the school had rules against using it in class. Oh come on! Everyone's using it! Even the class nerd Ah Ti! He secretly uses it to play the stupid Farmville during Maths Lesson. Not that Mr Sum the snake king would mind.

Anyway, back to my story.

So my very cute mother chooses to call me in school during recess time. The school clerk Mrs Wong Ah Li must have had a whale of a time screaming into the PA system. "Sum Tim Wong! Paging for Sum Tim Wong! Please come to the office. Your mother is calling for you! Maybe got something wrong!" I could hear her sniggering after the comments. Note to self: I will make sure I make ten prank phone calls to school during holidays!

At that time, I was sitting in the canteen and our principal Mr Sivalingam was sitting just two tables in front of me. He was in the midst of devouring the mee rebus when the announcement was made. I swear he laughed so hard that one of the mee rebus noodles was snorted out through his nose. Of course no one noticed because everyone was laughing at the bloody announcement, i.e. my name!

Obviously I didn't get up from my seat. I tried to act normal by whistling a tune but my stupid friend Adrian kept nudging me to get up. I feel like emptying the glass of fruit juice over his oversized pimpled face!

I waited a good one and a half minute before I got up and pretended to go to the toilet. At that moment Mrs Wong's voice boomed through the PA system again. "Sum Tim Wong! Please come to the office immediately. Your mother is waiting. Sum Tim Wong! Is there something wrong?"

I am not even kidding! The nerve! How dare she. I swear I will give her a peice of my mind when I reach the office. I even thought of the exact words I was going to say to her when I was walking along the corridor to the office.

When I reached the office, all the clerks' eyes were zoomed in on me. Then Mrs Wong started laughing. I finally understood what Miss Ng means when she said "guffaw like a hyena". She resembled a big, fat ugly hyena and her maggi mee hair kept jerking back and forth as she continued to guffaw for a good ten seconds.

"your phone!" she managed to say those words in between her hysterical laughter.

I took the phone and mumbled "Thank you." I am so disappointed with myself. What happened to all those swear words that I had prepared for her on the way to the office. "THANK YOU!" I can't believe myself. I am such a wimp!

And guess what my mother had to tell me.

"boy ah! Where you put Pe Pe's toy ah?"

I froze. She called me during recess time just to ask me where is my dog's toy? I had a string of vulgarities floating through my mind but I could only manage a weak "In the top drawer in my cupboard."

"Oh Ok! She going crazy! Always trying to bite my leg!"

Why am I not surprise? I hung up the phone and bolted back to class. Everyone started singing this song when I entered the class.

"Sum Tim Wong. Sum Tim Wong." I don't know the rest of the lyrics but it went along the tune of Edelwiss. Dennis Leu was the one who invented the song and he was standing in front of the class, pretending to be some conductor in a classical musical.

I hated his guts.

The worst thing was that Karen Chin, the love of my life, was singing along and laughing together with the rest of the class! I wish I could bury my head in the ground like an ostrich.

Seriously, what kind of parents would give their son such a name???? I hate them!

1 comment:

  1. Hi, I'm using your story for my English class. I wish to know where you are from. Loved your story.

    ReplyDelete